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Cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude - Happiness from a Humanist Prospectiveby Mr. Norm Allen Jr. Director, African Americans for Humanism
This is the recap of a talk given at the August 11, 2002 CDHS monthly meeting.
Norm Allen, Executive Director of African Americans for Humanism, joined us in August to discuss "Cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude – Happiness from a Humanist Perspective". He described the causes of unhappiness and contrasted the sources of true individual and societal happiness with the dangers of the more superficial types. "I want to live – I get great happiness out of life. I enjoy the company of friends. I enjoy seeing the faces of the ones I love. I enjoy art and music. I love Shakespeare and Burns; love to hear the the music of Wagner; love to see a good play. I take pleasure in eating and sleeping. The fact is, I like to breathe. I want to get all the happiness out of life that I can. I want to suck the orange dry, so that when death comes, nothing but the peelings will be left. So I say, long life." – Robert Ingersoll Noting that August 11th is Robert Ingersoll's birthday, Allen described how Ingersoll hated the concept of hell and felt it was the worst idea to come out of religion. It's not surprising that people are mean when they believe in a mean god. If you haven't had a religious upbringing, it may be hard to imagine what it's like to believe in a literal hell. Not only are children faced with the belief that such a horrible place exists, but they worry they will end up going there. Religious ideas about hell, sin, and guilt create a heavy mental burden and are a recipe for unhappiness. Teaching children to believe in hell, Allen says, is a form of child abuse. If we want them to be happy individuals living in a happy society, getting rid of the notion of hell would be a good place to start. Listing other sources of unhappiness, Allen discussed criticism. The destructive type is an inevitable part of life and we need to develop a thick skin to defend against it. However, constructive criticism should be recognized for the opportunities it can bring. Also, unhappiness results when religious and ethnic differences lead to prejudice and feelings of inferiority. We also regularly face fear and dread. Fortunately for humanists, the lack of belief in hell helps alleviate the fear of death. However, we don't have the luxury of belief in heaven either. The solution is to have a positive attitude toward life and avoid an obsessive focus on death by accepting it philosophically. When facing fear, Allen suggests viewing life as a challenge. Sometimes the sense of dread we build up about a problem is worse than the problem itself. Allen says there are many different sources of happiness and, along with cultivating an attitude of gratitude, you have to determine which ones are right for you. Sometimes people take wrong turns in their search. They get sidetracked by overindulgence in pleasure or their imagination is captured by superficial forms of happiness. In their quest to gain acceptance, people look to such things as cosmetic surgery. Allen sees these as misdirected efforts to resolve conflicts residing deeper within. When we become comfortable with who we are, we won't place obsessive emphasis on outer appearance. Getting married and having children for no other motivation than because it is expected of us can lead to hollow relationships and unloved and unhappy children. People also have to overcome the victim-focused mentality that there is nothing they can do to improve a situation. Only by doing this will they be able to seize opportunities. A good example of is the civil rights movement in which people organized and followed good leadership. A balance between happiness of the individual and happiness of the larger group must be maintained. Finding a source of pride in your uniqueness can create individual happiness which leads to happiness for the larger group. Personal health is one of the greatest sources of happiness and yet it is too often taken for granted by those fortunate enough to possess it. Just being happy and conscious of your mental and physical health and that of others can cultivate an attitude of gratitude. In addition to this, lives need to be enriched with a philosophy, world view, music and sports, etc. We have to remind ourselves that we are part of a world community. Rather than just focusing on personal happiness, we should consider our happiness dependent upon making life happier in other parts of the world. Allen feels that many of the terrible things that happen in the world, September 11th for example, have, as a root cause, societal unhappiness in which people's basic needs haven't been met. In closing, Norm Allen stressed the importance of helping others as a way to a happier world: "Your happiness is always going to be in jeopardy if that happiness isn't spread as far as possible." Allen remarked that the Humanism and Atheism of African-American leaders in the civil rights movement has been swept under the rug while religion gets most of the focus. To learn more about the role of humanism and freethought in African-American history, see the speakers book: African American Humanism: An Anthology, by Norm R Allen Jr., Director, AAH | |